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The Church of the Really Nice Try

The Church of the Really Nice Try

 
 
 

THE CREED OF THE
CHURCH OF THE REALLY NICE TRY

 

     The beliefs of the Church Of The Really Nice Try are firmly based on scripture, and are ever mindful of both the staggering complexities of the act of creation, and of the limitations of the creator—as defined through the word of that creator, The Holy Bible.
     To understand the beliefs of the Triers, as those of the church prefer to be called, you must go back to the very roots of all belief, the first chapter of the bible, and you must stand in judgment as a parable is told:
     There was once a great engineer, who began a project that pleased him mightily. He desired to create a habitat for himself: a house of many rooms.
     For long, he labored, executing each detail of the plan exactly according to his will, until at least the habitat was finished. And he was pleased with the work he had done.
     But as time passed, the engineer became dissatisfied. He had not made the habitat fully self-sustaining, and if it was to remain in the state he desired he must either maintain it himself or create a device to do the job for him.
     Being efficient, and enjoying the challenge of creating something never before seen, the engineer built a device containing self-willed intelligence, plus the ability to modify its own program, as needed. He activated the device and saw that it was exactly as he had envisioned. And he was happy.
     But the device proved not quite adequate to the task, and required excessive attention. The engineer determined that there were some tasks that his creation could not handle by itself, and there was no way for it to perform a valid self-check on its programming modifications without the attention of its creator.
     So the engineer produced a second device, to complement the first, and to interface with it in such a way that continued production of these care-taking devices would be both automatic and self-sustaining.
     But the new device began to produce feedback of an unexpected type, and to access unauthorized data sources, until the original functionality was all but lost. The engineer was very angry, and he cast the pair of creations from his house, into an environment that would bring them constant distress, pronouncing them useless and disobedient

***

     Now, as a judge of the situation described you must ask yourself: who is at fault? Was it the creator, or was it the creation? Was the engineer justified in not only discarding his creations, but forcing them into an existence that he, himself, thought brutal and harsh? Or should he have changed the programming and functionality of the device to fit it more smoothly into his plan?
     The answer is obvious, God screwed up! But that conclusion is inherent in the very statement that God created mankind in-his-own-image. Like us, he is fallible, subject to temper tantrums, and all of the rest of the characteristics that make the human race what it is.

***

     Of course you must be demanding further proof of the fallibility of the Lord. That is the human and reasonable thing to do. So, though this is a rather abbreviated version of the creed of the church, let us explore the matter further:
     Almost immediately after the description of creation there is a short chapter detailing the liaisons of certain occupants of the lord’s heavenly domain with the women of the Earth—often against their will—who produced children as a result. This chapter clearly shows that God has difficulty controlling, and even knowing about the actions of his underlings—scarcely the actions of an omniscient and omnipotent being.
     Directly following the described difficulty with his underlings, God looks out upon a world populated with the sons and daughters of his creatures, and he sees naught but chaos and evil. He becomes justifiably angry at the depravity and licentiousness of his creations, and states that he regrets having created mankind. He vows to correct the situation by putting all life on Earth to death by drowning, save for a favored few. The implication is that this single family will procreate, following the flood, and fill the world with decent human beings.
     The creator then causes Noah, the chosen one, to build a vessel with which to survive the coming flood. It is vitally important to note, at this point, that God planned to change the basic nature of mankind, in one single generation, without intervention on his part other than an act of genocide, directed against the rest of the planet’s population. And he chose the new breeding stock, not by characteristics passed on via genetic means, but by those qualifications that are a result of social and educational background. In other words, the plan was doomed from the start! In demonstration of that, shortly after the descendants of Noah repopulate the Earth God is forced to destroy a city for precisely the reasons he destroyed the entire population of the planet. And though you and I can see the fallacy of God’s plan, God obviously could not—leading to the primary tenant of the church:

He Did The Job Without A Formal Education

 
      But who was there available to teach him? Who was there to suggest that he make changes in the human gene structure, rather than endlessly punish them for flaws he, himself, had inadvertently included within their basic mentality. Still, given the conditions he had work under, and the staggering magnitude of the task, we derive the second tenant of our church:

It Was A Really Nice Try!

 
     A really nice try. But the job was never finished, because of the nearly infinite complexities of the task, coupled with the limitations of the creator. Look around you. Is this what God had in mind for the human race and the planet? Of course not. Over and over, in the text of the bible, he tells us what he wants, and over and over he fails to deliver the message in a form suited to move humanity toward his goal, leading to both the third and fourth tenants of the church.

He’s Not A Good Talker
He Doesn’t Really Understand Us

 
     Like any engineer, he is far better with things than with communications and relationships. After all, who does he have to discuss the issues with in order to gain experience and skill? No one. So it falls on us, the members of his church, to continue the task of building, leading to the fifth, and most important tenant of the church.

It’s Time To Take Over The Job

 
     It’s time for you and I to realize that the task is incomplete, and that it has been left to us to finish the work. Creation is over. The tasks that only a divine being could manage have been finished. Now the human part of the job must begin. Perhaps the task is too small in detail for his abilities, perhaps he has simply given up. Whatever the reason, God cannot tell us how to live together, so it falls on us to solve that problem. We must manage the resources of a world, and must find ways of living together without constant warfare. We must make him proud of his creations, and justify his creation of the universe. This then, is the ongoing task of the Church Of The Really Nice Try.
     There are those who claim a direct contact with the lord, and a channeling of his power. But good people die while bad ones are miraculously healed, while the Lord allows millions to be murdered in the name of an ideology. More telling than that, he allows millions to die, sacrificed to his name. Which leads to the sixth, and final, major tenant of our church

Don’t Expect Miracles

 
     Certainly, one should hope for divine help, and certainly one should praise the Lord for having created the magnificence of the universe, but The Church Of The Really Nice Try is for work, not worship. It is for thinking, not blindly following, and it is for the greatest work a human being can do: The work of God.
     Visit your neighborhood Temple Of Brotherhood In The Faith Of The Really Nice Try. Or visit our webpage at:

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Author’s note:
 
     I began this in the spirit of fun, highlighting some of the inconsistencies of the Bible. My goal was to infuriate those people who have word “holy” appear on their forehead, while their reasoning powers diminish to zero, when religion is mentioned.
     But as I wrote this, a strange thing began to happen: I began to wish there were such a church, one focused on finding ways to get along, rather than punishing all who disagree with whatever ideology the group embraces.
     And that’s how I became founder, patriarch, and bake sale chairman of The Church of the Really Nice Try.
     At the moment I’m also the only member, true, but I get to wear some really cool purple robes and carry a staff. I get some funny looks, of course, but women really go for a man in purple robes.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -
     I hope you enjoyed my little fantasy. If you did, and got here from Facebook, pressing the “Share” button at the page bottom will let others know the piece is here, and give them the chance to read it, as well. And if you hate me for writing it, push share, so more and more people can hate me as you do. Win/win ;–)
And if, perchance, my efforts pleased you, I’m glad. There are other stories posted, as well. You and others like you are the reason I write. And if it did bring a moment of reading pleasure, take a moment to rate it. Feedback matters to me.
     If you’re in the mood for something a bit longer, make a stop to look at my novels, and read the excerpts to see if they please, as well.

 

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Good Works and Fairy Tales

Good Works and Fairy Tales

 
 

     Glor stared morosely into the embers of the dying fire, watching their twinkle slowly dim to the gray of ash. For the tenth time, she shifted position on the old chair and grumbled to herself,
     “It’s not fair! It’s just not fair. The Nobles sit around all stinking day doing nothing but gab, gab, gab, and they get to go to the Frolic. We work ourselves half-to-death feeding those twarkling parasites, and get nothing but a backache and an empty purse. It’s just not fair.”
     Her thoughts had been going around the circular path of that particular grump for several hours. Actually, it was boredom, and the frustration of an active mind with little to occupy it, that kept her complaining. Had she more money or was she better looking, marriage and children might have filled her days, and loving, her nights. That joy, though, was not in her foreseeable future, and was the real problem that kept her in an eternally foul mood.
     Her little outburst brought her thoughts back to Pa, stretched out on the bedding shelf in the only other room the little hovel boasted, snoring since dark. He’d tried to explain the way of things, parroting the justifications he had been given.
 
     “Let me see if I have it straight,” she said, in response. “The nobles are necessary, because they protect us against those who would come here and take over, right?”
     “Right!” Her father beamed, probably happy that she finally seemed to understand.
     “And what would these other nobles do when they took over that’s any different from the band of parasites we have now?”
     Her father scratched his head at that and his smile faded. His satisfaction, as usual, was short lived. “Well—” he began, but she would have none of that.
     “The answer to that is: nothing, Pa. Not one single damn thing. We would simply have a new tax collector taking most of what we manage to raise. As far as I’m concerned, what we have is bunches of bullies, fighting it out among themselves to see who gets to take our crops and money. Right?” She punched his arm, saying, “You know I’m right. Admit it!”
     Her father scowled, probably wishing his wife had not been killed by a runaway load beast when Glor was just a tot. He’d done his best to raise her properly, she gave him that, but the work was endless and hard, and left little time for him to take the place of her mother. In truth, she was probably more intelligent than he, because he hadn’t been able to win one of their arguments several years. Though in fairness, that might just be that she was more stubborn than he.
     But he was going on, obviously, trying to project strength and assurance.
     “No, Glor, not right,” he said, firmly. “What about the soldiers who protect us from robbers and highwaymen? Without their protection, there would be no law, and no one to keep anyone from coming in here at night to slit our throats and take over our land.”
     She sneered, and her voice dripped sarcasm, as she said, “Soldiers protect us? Like the soldier who raped Zema last Threeday? Or the one who was annoyed that he might have to walk around a cart, and stampeded the load beast that killed poor Mum?” She leaned forward to poke him in the chest with a finger, mocking him with, “Maybe you’re talking about the soldiers who suck up our food; the ones who sit around doing nothing but waiting the chance to fight against a bunch just like them, who want to take their place as takers.” She sat up and pounded on the table, winding herself up to do battle. “Maybe, just maybe, you might have a point…if they did a little protecting!”
     Pa chewed on his lip, wishing, she was certain, that he hadn’t been suckered into this argument by the mistake of a chance remark. Still, there was little else to do when the only light was the dying glow of the cooking fire but sleep or talk.
     “How about study?” he asked, mildly. The Nobles can read and write—at least some of them. How about that?”
     Glor thought on that as she returned to work, oiling some harness straps. Neither she nor her father ever sat idle as long as they were awake. There was too much that needed doing, and too little time to do it. She started to speak, then thought better of it and lapsed into silence for a time, to her father’s obvious pleasure. Finally, she sighed, blowing out her breath through puffed cheeks.
     “I don’t know about that, Pa. I’d like to be able to read, and see for myself what good reading can do. I’ve heard there are books that tell you the best way to do things. It might be nice to see if there’s one that tells about a better way to grow skallo, or how to figure when it’s going to rain.” But thinking about that possibility, brought frustration.
     “Zalt’s sake, Pa, why do we even talk about it? What good do books and study do for us? Do those fluff-heads read us anything useful from a book? No! Those who can read just sit around in their book-rooms all day reading. They never use what they learn, they just…read! Big help that is!” Frustration was in full cry, as she dropped the harness into her lap and pounded both hands on the table, endangering their only work space. “Do we get to learn how to read for ourselves? Do we get to use the books? No again!” It was impossible to suppress the tone of mockery from her voice as she said, “ ‘Too hard for commoners to learn,’ they say. Load beast droppings, I say.”
 
     Bringing herself back to the present, Glor stood and stretched, then moved to the uncovered doorway of the hut. There she stopped, looking up into the blaze of stars, unimpressed with the beauty she found there. She spread her arms in an impassioned plea.
     “Why do you permit this to happen?” she demanded. “Can’t I have a break even once?” It was the same cry she had uttered each night since the announcement of the frolic.
     In answer to her plea there was silence from the skies, broken only by the thrumming of a mating kluire pair. Behind her, however, in the center of the room, the air began to shimmer.
     She became aware that something was amiss when a soft but growing glow began to cast her shadow on the path in front of the hut. She whirled in time to see a circle of light solidify nearly a foot from the floor. Hard light it was, and bright; difficult to look at with her night adjusted eyes; a fuzzy opening into somewhere else. She squatted, trying to make some sense out of the faint shadows that showed there.
     As the transport circle matched indices with her local continuum, the image seen through the circle abruptly snapped into focus, bringing her upright, half-turned and poised for flight. It was a strange sight indeed, but before she could even begin to understand it, a figure appeared, blocking most of the light.
     The circle of the gateway was too small and too low to the ground for that being to step through directly, and too high to crawl through. After a few seconds of indecision, he—because it appeared to be a male—finally thrust his head through the opening and began an inspection of the deeply shadowed hut. Unfortunately, his own body blocked most of the light, and his eyes were so blinded by the brightness of his own origin that his eyes swept over her without pause. Finally, giving up the attempt, he braced his hands on the ground in front of her and began to clamber his way into her home.
     Too stunned to feel fear, she stood just outside the doorway of the hut, allowing the option of fleeing, if necessary. Still, there was Pa to think of. Edging a bit to one side, she reached out for the splitting ax. This was probably not the best time for a show of bravery, but leaving the creature alone with an unsuspecting Pa wasn’t an option. Calling out a warning might make sense, but there was something about the stranger that made him seem less than threatening, in spite of his impossible form of arrival. Magic was involved, obviously, but the kind, bad or good, wasn’t obvious, though the clumsy way it had come through the opening argued in favor of waiting before making any decisions. A sensible creature would have thrust one leg through the opening, and then squat-walked its way through. Still, it would pay to be wary, so she retained a firm grip on the handle of the ax.
     The creature stood, peering into the dark and brushing the dirt from its hands. In the glaring light streaming from the transport circle he appeared to be a strangely dressed and rather runty little man. He gave a surprised jerk when he recognized her particular pool of shadow as being a person, then controlled himself and nodded a hello, rather than attacking. That was reassuring.
     Before she could do more than note that his bodily proportions appeared to be a bit wrong, he spoke, his accent strange, his voice a bit on the pompous side, as he said, “Greetings, good woman. Your wish was heard by the great powers of the universe, and, because you are a deserving person, they have ordered me here to help you.”
     He squared his shoulders and indicated himself with a wave of his hand, adding, “I am your Fairy Godfather, and I have been sent to grant your wish.” With that, he bent his body forward at the waist for a moment, in a gesture she had never seen before.
     She stood just outside the doorway, studying him, unmoving, until he began to fidget. “I said—”
     “I heard what you said. Who the hell are you?” She pointed at the transport locus. “And what is that…that…thing?
     The man looked uncomfortable. “I’m your, uhh, Fairy Godfather?”
     That rated only a snort of disgust.
     “Look, you are Glor, aren’t you?”
     In the unknowing bliss of sleep, her father snored on, uncaring, while she tried unsuccessfully to make sense of what was happening. She continued to stare at the man, thinking.
     Finally, in a totally exasperated voice, he said, “Look, Lady, don’t you believe in Fairy Godfathers?”
     She leaned to one side and placed the ax against the building, then moved into the doorway, to lean a shoulder against the frame, crossing her arms.
     “Listen, whoever you are; I believe… At least I used to. It’s just that there seem to be a few things wrong with both you and your story.” She looked him up and down, frowning. “First of all,” she said, thoughtfully, “I think it’s supposed to be a Fairy Godmother, not a Fairy Godfather. I—”
     The man bristled, placing angry hands on his hips in exasperation, cutting her off. “Give me a break,” he said, before snorting in disgust. “Not you, too. Listen, damn it, I’ll have you know there are laws against sexual discrimination.” She seemed to have struck on a sensitive subject.
     He went on, rather testily. “I got this job on my merits, and I work hard at it, too. I’d just like to see somebody object to that…okay?” He humphed for emphasis, then continued, calming a trifle. “Okay… So, what else is wrong with me?”
     His words were clear, but their meaning eluded her. She frowned, eyes drawn to the harshly lit view through the locus of the transporter for a moment. Unable to make any more sense out of that than his words, she forced her attention back to the visitor.
“Well, for a second thing, your accent is damn strange.” She sniffed, pointedly, adding, “You also smell funny, and your nose looks like it’s about to fall off.”
     The man put a hand to his nose and pushed it against his face. Unfortunately, when he released it again, it began to separate from his skin with a tiny tearing sound.
     With a muttered exclamation, he ripped the offending object from his face and threw it to the ground, grinding it into the dirt of the floor with his heel. He regained control of his temper, and sighing, began to strip away his eyebrows, followed by his mane of shaggy hair. He mumbled unintelligible curses under his breath as he threw them through the opening he had entered through.
     When he was finished, he was as strange a being as could be imagined. His face was a bland, flat thing, with only a small bump where a normal being might have the overhanging snout her people used for keeping rain out of the breathing apparatus. His eyebrows, too, were skimpy, appeared to be fixed in place, and would be of little use in a dust storm. She snorted, while the little creature conveyed the impression of a petulant unhappiness.
     Apparently remembering where he was, and what he was in the process of doing, that being suddenly straightened and returned his attention to her. He was obviously trying to look menacing, though, without too much success.
     “In truth, woman, I am Donald, demon assistant to the High Overlord of the Underworlds—a death demon, sent here to negotiate a contract for your soul.”
     She leaned forward, interested. This was turning out to be fun.
     “Come on, who are you really?” she asked with a smile. “A demon would be a hell of a lot more dangerous looking than you are.” She gestured her lack of belief in his direction.
     In response, he threw back his shoulders and inflated his chest for what he probably hoped would be an impressive roar, but stopped in response to her grin.
     He deflated. “You win. My name really is Donald, and I’m from an organization that travels around the universes doing good works.” He shrugged deprecatingly. “At least we hope to. You and your people are the first.”
     “Good works? What do you mean, good works?” For the present, she pushed aside the problem of where he came from, and how he managed to arrive at her hut.
     He shrugged his shoulders. “Good works. Just what I said. We…that is my employers, recently managed to co-sponsor a bill through the major houses, authorizing…” He halted, then corrected his statement to, “No, not authorizing, mandating that no less than one percent of the general budget be earmarked for projects of social benefit to other peoples.” He gestured at her. “That’s you.”
     He was very sincere, but he also made very little sense, so she requested clarification.
     “Huh?”
     “You, Glor,” he explained. “Your people. Your world.” He spread his arms. “All of it.” Once again he made that bent waist gesture, before saying, “We’re starting with you.”
     She repeated her request for enlightenment. “Huh?”
     In response, he took her arm and led her to the fireplace, then guided her to a seat on the old roof beam she used as a rest when cooking, frowning as he noted the noises drifting in from the other side of the partition.
     “Who?” he asked, casting worried looks in the direction of the noise.
     “It’s only Pa,” she replied, reassuring him with, “He’d sleep through an ass-ripper of a storm without budging none, would that one.”
     She cocked her head to one side.
     “Talk to me little man. Tell me what you mean.” With a start, she realized that strange as he might be, she thought of him as just that: a man. It was as startling, in its own way, as the fact of his even being there.
     He winced, then nodded. “Okay, Glor, let me see if I can simplify it a bit for you.
     “The people I work for have managed to get a law passed that forces our…umm…nobles to spend part of the taxes they collect on projects that help people who deserve and need to be helped.” He leaned forward. “I’ve been studying your people for some time, and living here on your world is a pretty grim business. Things are pretty bad now, and not likely to get any better until some things are changed.” He reached out a hand to touch her arm. “You need help, Glor, and so do your people.”
     What he said made no sense, and she told him so, with, “Nobles give up gold? Are they crazy?”
     He shook his head. “Don’t try to understand it. We have a different system from yours, and it works for us. For now, can you just accept that? We really would like to help.”
     She leaned back, crossing her arms. Suspicion, mixed with sarcasm, was strong in her voice, deliberately, as she said, “You help just…just to help? And you think I’ll believe that?” She took a breath and leaned close him, displaying her fangs, threateningly, as she added, “Now, without the crap, what do you get out of it and what do you want from me?” She snorted, hard. Obviously, he thought her a fool.
     He drew back, then straightened and stuck out his chin, ignoring her anger, in a display of courage she would not have credited him with, as he said, “We don’t want anything, Glor. We help because it’s the right thing to do…that’s all.”
     “Crazy people then,” she muttered. “Nobody does such a thing without a reason.”
     “Maybe crazy, Glor, but still, we do want to help. That’s why I’m here; we’re going to start with you.”
     “With… You’re going to start with me? How?” There was still heavy doubt in her voice, but interest that she was unable to suppress, too.
     He smiled. “By granting your wish. By sending you to the Frolic to meet and marry the prince.”
     “What?” She nearly fell from the beam, and the snoring stopped for a moment, nearly waking the unwakable Pa, so great had been her shock. Her voice was a hissing whisper as she said, “Marry the prince? Are you crazy?” She then answered her own question, musing, “Of course, crazy. We already know that.” Staring at Donald for a long moment without understanding, she shook her head, then asked, “But why would I want to marry the prince? And more to the point, why would he want to marry a nobody like me?” She indicated her form with a disgusted wave of the hand.
     The little man nodded, and muttered a comment that sounded like: “Liposuction,” before taking a deep breath and continuing, in a tone of forced heartiness.
     “Now, Glor, don’t sell yourself short. True, you’re not a beauty, but a lot of that is probably because its so hard to see you through the layers of dirt on your skin and hair. Clean, you’d be almost…well…passable.”
     “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, in response to her glare.
     She turned away as he continued, contrite.
     “Please let me finish. It’s not my plan to simply dress you up and send you to the Frolic. There’s a lot more to it than that.”
      She allowed the hard line of her back to relax a bit. She was not nearly as insulted as she led him to believe, given that she had no illusions as to her beauty. Though she was a bit miffed that he had not at least given her, attractive. Passable was so…so nothing. Better to be thought of as ugly than passable.
     It occurred that she was arguing, not with a neighbor or a passing traveler, but with a being from some other world, so she swung back to face him.
     “Okay, Donald What-Ever, talk. Flatter me some more.”
      He grunted. “I deserved that, I suppose. I’m sorry if it…” He made a shrug of the hands, then repeated, “Sorry.”
      She waved him to go on. No matter his appearance, he was, obviously, a wizard of significant power, something to keep in mind. The light radiating from his magic circle, brightening the room almost to daylight levels, demonstrated that. And given that he might have both the magic and the inclination to use it on her behalf, taking offence because he thought her unattractive would be stupid—especially given that he was right. He was, after all, offering to send her to the frolic.
Leaning back, with his hands interlaced over his knee, he continued.
     “Okay, let me see if I can make it simple.” He looked at nothing for a few seconds, then said, “Before you can charm a prince, Glor, you have to know how to act like a princess. You not only have to look the part, but have to act it too. That’s part of what we intend to do for you.”
     She shook her head, rejecting his words. “In the three days remaining before the Frolic? You are crazy if you think you could make a princess out of me in that time.”
     He smiled at that and held up a hand to forestall her comment that she already knew about his madness. “Maybe I am,” he said, “but let me show you something that might help to convince you. Lean forward, if you will, and bend your head down a bit.”
     Puzzled, she complied. He motioned her to bend further and reached a hand up to touch her hair, as though smoothing it. Too late, she noticed that he had taken something from his pocket; something flat that gleamed in his hand. Her world went suddenly dark, and with a sigh, she crumpled onto his lap.

*

     The fuzzer bird that lived in the roof thatch was sounding off when Glor finally woke, nearly fifteen minutes after the true dawn. She rolled out of the bedding, to stand and stretch, scratching at an insect bite. Yawning, and tossing kindling onto the fire bed to heat and dry out, she went out into the chill of the morning, for water to place over the fire to heat, before beginning any of the morning chores.
     Tiredly, she began to haul the water bucket’s rope over the pulley, rope coiling by her ankles as the bucket slowly rose. The thought occurred that if she were to tie the spare bucket to the other end of the rope, she could have an empty bucket going down to the water as the full one came up. That would save a fair amount of both time and work.
     That thought set her to wondering how difficult it would be to rig a pump, or better yet, a windmill to handle the task. It would be nice to have water without effort.
     It was with a warm creative feeling that she began to contemplate the changes she would be making to improve the place; like better waterproofing the roof, and—
     The rope slid through her nerveless fingers, the pulley screeching its complaint till the bucket splashed noisily into the water. Only the stopper knot tied at the end of the rope prevented it from following the bucket into the water. Stiffly, she moved to look into the well, searching for her image, and fearful of what she would see.
     It had not been a dream! Frozen, her mind racing in circles, she stared down at her broken reflection in the water below.
     With the final clearing of the water she was reassured. It was Glor who stood there, not the stranger she was afraid she might find. Only Glor; dumpy, dirty Glor.
     With a sudden frown, she began to haul on the bucket rope once more. Dumpy she was stuck with, dirty was another story. That she could do something about. For the first time in her life, she found the idea of being dirty repulsive.
     Without soap there wasn’t too much she could do, other than removing the superficial dirt. But it was a start. Soap would have to wait till she accumulated some animal fat. There would be a great deal of changes before then, though. A great deal.
 
     “You’re wet, Glor. It’s not raining, so why come you’re wet?” Pa gave her a puzzled look as he shoveled the gruel past his facial hair.
     She tried to act casual, not an easy thing to do this morning. “Just sluicing off some of the worst of the dirt, Pa.”
     He shook his head, not looking up as he continued with his steady feeding, talking around the gruel. “Waste of time, girl, you’ll be all shit again by night.”
     He happened to be right. That fact had never troubled her before, and she began wondering if perhaps the knowledge she had been magically given would be more of a curse than a blessing. This day, she was glad to see her pa leave for the fields, so she could be alone with her thoughts as she worked.

*

     That night, when the locus formed, she was ready. The instant it stabilized she was diving through the opening. She hit the hard tile floor in a roll, smoothly coming to her feet, to confront Donald and one other person, their mouths open in shock.
     “I thought I might visit you this time,” she said, casually, and a bit smugly.
     “But…I… You can’t possibly…uhh…” He sputtered that way until she stopped him.
     “I can, and I did, and I want to use your bathroom.” She crossed her arms, daring him to even try to send her back.
     He began to slump in defeat, then stiffened, eyes wide. “How do you know about a bathroom?”
     She shook her head, saying, “I don’t know. That’s one of the first questions I want answered.”
     He thought that over for a time, then silently pointed to a door at one end of the room. Apparently, he’d decided to use the time she spent in the bathroom to pull himself together.
     The facilities available in the little room were astounding. She flushed the toilet several times, laughing as the water swirled its way out of the bowl, only to be replaced with more. The sink, with its bar of soap, was another wonder to be enthusiastically sampled, while the mirror gave her a first-ever clear look at herself. That was a mixed blessing.
     She emerged from the bathroom, toweling her hair.
      I’m afraid I made a bit of a mess in there. I’m clean, now, and I wiped off the sink, but…” She shrugged. “You’re out of paper towels, and the bathroom’s in need of a mopping…sorry.”
     “It’s okay, Glor. They’ll clean it in the morning.”
      Apparently, he had recovered his composure. He indicated his companion, trying to act as though things were once again under his control.
“Glor, I want you to meet Amy. She’s agreed to help me with this part of the project.”
     The person in question was a tiny creature, only half her own height. Delicate in facial feature, and slim of body, her small but definite breasts proclaimed her female. Although she had nothing to judge their people’s standard of beauty, the female was pleasing, in the way an animal is attractive: for smooth flow of line, and for grace of movement.
     Glor touched her forehead in greeting. “My pleasure, Lady,” she said, formally. She had no real idea of the proper form of address, but when in doubt, treating the stranger as a noble was a safe course of action. Amy smiled timidly in return, but said nothing.
     She turned to Donald, remembering the reason, other than a chance to explore and use the facilities available, for which she’d dived into the locus. Advancing on him menacingly, she growled, “Now, tell me what you did to me last night, how you did it, and, more importantly, why.” She finished her speech standing only inches from him, overpowering him with her bulk.
     “Now, Glor,” he said, defensively, “there’s no reason for you to be angry.” He backed away and gestured to a table in one corner of the room, saying, “Come, sit here, and I’ll explain.” He hurriedly scuttled to the table, pulling out a chair for her, while Amy watched, looking from one to the other, alternating concern with mild amusement.
     She motioned Amy to precede her to the table, to better know where everyone was, and prevent a repeat performance of what had been done the night before. As the woman walked to the table she appeared almost to flow, rather than simply walk. Every movement she made pleased the eye, making her acutely aware that next to that woman, her own movements were akin to the bumbling gait of a drunken Stult.
     As she walked the few feet to the chair that Donald was smilingly urging her toward, she studied the room and its furnishings. Although she had never been there before, she had the uncanny feeling that she knew the function of each of the devices arrayed there, even to knowing many of the names and operating procedures. It was a strange feeling.
     Then, they were seated, and it was that awkward time in a conversation when everyone was waiting for someone else to speak. Donald gave in and spoke first, his words proving true to his nature, much to her disgust.
     “So, Glor, how was your day?”
     In response she pointed a finger at him, poking him lightly on the nose to be sure of getting his attention.
     “Listen, you, I want to know what you did to me while I was asleep, and why I know so much about this place.” Had he placed some sort of mind-worm in her head—a thing that now gave her knowledge and assistance, but which would eventually take over both her mind and body, as in the horror tale of the Two Brothers? For them, forbidden knowledge had proved a double edged sword, claiming both their bodies and their souls in the end. No one did anything for nothing, so the question that needed answering was if the price for what had been given would be too high to pay.
     Donald looked at her speculatively for a time, chewing on his lip. Finally, he ventured, “Tell me, Glor, what’s a quark?” He waited, studying her, his expression carefully neutral.
     “A quark?” She shook her head. “I’m not sure. It’s some sort of sub-atomic particle, I think. I—” Her mouth snapped shut with an audible clack of her teeth, then dropped open again, as both her response, and the vista of new knowledge that the question had invoked made itself apparent. Apparently, she knew an enormous amount now that she had not known when she woke on the morning before she met Donald. How much she knew might take years to learn, as the knowledge was only there when she thought about a particular item or problem. Much of the data she now possessed she would never have the chance to use, or even know she knew, as the triggering stimulus that would cause her to think about the subject would never come.
     Donald reacted to the expression of shock on her face. He bit his lip, and his eyes narrowed, as he asked, “And my mother’s name?”
     “Susan.” She was unable to keep her eyes from opening wide.
     Donald grunted, throwing up his arms, only to return them to the table with a thud. “So much for that theory,” he said sounding disgusted. “You were only supposed to get certain information, and even that, only with great effort. It looks like you got nearly everything, though, including my entire life.” He blew out his breath in a long sigh. “Congratulations, Glor. You now seem to have the education I spent eight difficult years in college to get, all in one single night.” He stared at her for a moment, nodding slowly. “In fact, you probably know almost everything I do.”
     She nodded agreement. It was true. And that meant she was the best-educated resident of her planet, for all the good it did her. She motioned for him to go on.
     With an obvious effort, he brought himself back to the subject at hand. “It’s something really new, this transfer stuff. The idea was that certain knowledge could be transferred from one brain to another by overlapping the minds. I don’t understand how it works, it’s not my field of study, but the idea is that an electronic analog of my mind can be superimposed on yours. It was hoped that most of everything I thought while that condition was maintained would be retained in your mind. That’s the way it operated with the development units. I don’t know why, but it seems to have transferred data to you with a vengeance.” He frowned. “It never worked that way between two humans, so I would guess there must be differences between our two species that we didn’t anticipate.”
     She had to agree. “And what had you planned for tonight?” she asked. “More of the same?”
     He shook his head, raising a hand to indicate Amy, who had been silent all through the previous exchange. Apparently, she couldn’t speak Glor’s language. In fact, reaching into his memories, she was sure of it.
     He continued. “Not more knowledge, Glor, more skills. Amy is a professional dancer, and a good friend. She agreed to try an experiment in transferring her skills. With a little luck, she’ll teach you how to move more gracefully.”
      Move more gracefully? An interesting thought. She swiveled to study the woman more closely. The knowledge that she might get a great deal more than some trivial lessons in how to walk gracefully was a powerful inducement to attempt the experiment. There were things about Amy that she wanted very much to know, such as how she did such interesting things with her hair.
     Without taking her eyes from the woman, who was starting to redden under her steady gaze, she asked: “Will it hurt?”
     At the edge of her vision Donald was fidgeting in his seat.
      “No…but…ahh…well there is something you may not like.”
     She turned to face him. “And?”
     He bit his lip, then forced himself to sit up straighter. “Well, the idea is that she’ll move your body around the room, as she would, normally, and thus show you how to be more graceful. The trick is that you have to surrender control.”
      “What? You want me to let her take over both my mind and body, and make me like a…” She searched for the term. “…a zombie? You have to be kidding!” In spite of her revulsion at the idea, though, she added: “Does it work?”
     He looked down at the hatlike device that had been lying on the table when she arrived. “Not reliably so far, but this is the latest unit, and they assure me that the bugs are all worked out.”
     “So it could kill me, or turn my mind to jelly,” she said, flatly. She turned to face Amy once more, asking, “What about her. Could it harm her too?”
     He hesitated before answering. “They tell me no, but they also told me I would have to work hard at putting even a small amount of knowledge into your head.” He spread his hands. “It appears to be safe. After all, it’s basically the same unit I used last night. It worked then.” He shrugged, adding, “But who can know for sure?”
     “Basically the same.” she said with a snort. Still, she was curious, and was forced to add, “How does she feel about the danger?” She indicated Amy with a jerk of her head, and saw by the look on Donald’s face that he had neglected to explain the possibility of a hazard for her. That brought a flush of anger, and she took his upper arm in a tight grip, pulling his face close to hers.
     “Tell her, you little twerp” she snarled, “before I rip your arm off. I’m willing to try it, because I have a great deal to gain, but you tell her about the risks or I won’t do it.”
     Bowing to her superior logic, Donald reluctantly nodded in agreement. At first, she was worried that he might simply discuss the weather, and report that they had discussed the dangers fully. She needn’t have worried, as she could now understand his language quite well. She might be clumsy in speaking it, but understanding was a much simpler matter. One swift kick to Donald’s leg, when he attempted to minimize the possibility of danger, served to inform him of her new ability, and keep him mostly honest.
 
     Glor lay on a couch, the little transfer device cap carefully arranged on her head. On a matching couch, Amy lay, pale and fearful, with her eyes tightly closed; chewing on her lip, a transfer unit gleaming among her curls. She had to admire the woman. Amy was frightened, but insisted on going through with the experiment. She claimed it was because she had given her word, and because she truly wanted to help Glor. That was the same concept Donald advanced the previous night—helping others without thought of gain. Apparently, his people actually thought that way. She would have to think about that.
     But now wasn’t the time. Donald was sitting at the operator’s console, studying the readouts, fiddling endlessly with the controls, and she wished he would hurry. Waiting made her want to rip the damn cap from her head. Finally, though, he was satisfied.
     “Okay, ladies,” he said, with false heartiness in his voice. “I’ve got everything tracking properly now, I think. I’m going to switch to automatic and activate the program.” There was a quiet click as he fingered the enter key, initiating the command sequence that turned control of the operation over to the transfer unit itself. She held her breath and concentrated, but felt nothing. Deliberately, then, she relaxed and closed her eyes, as she as been told to do, but still, nothing happened.
     An endless time later she felt a thought that was not her own—a questioning feeling, different in some unexplainable way from her own thoughts. It strengthened, and the words of another’s thoughts began to combine with her own. Tentatively, she gave a mental “hello,” to her visitor, only to frighten her off. Amy was a timid thing, Glor learned. Unsure of relationships, and the social graces, badly hurt at a young age, she spent her life immersed in her art. It was her way to both hide from the world, and at the same time gain its approval.
     For nearly an hour they lay there, each on her own couch, both in one mind. Slowly, they were getting to know each other, almost becoming one person; a being with multiple views and life experiences. In the end, surprisingly, she liked Amy very much. For all of her alien viewpoints, she was honest, loyal, and had a strength that Glor could not match. She had recovered from a tragedy that would probably have destroyed Glor, had she been the one to have had to face it. In many ways, Amy had lived a much more difficult life than she. For them both, it was a learning experience.
     Finally: (Are you ready Glor?)
     [As ready as I ever will be, Sister Mine.]
     There followed a period of true magic. At first, there was only a random twitching of her extremities, as Amy attempted to learn how to operate Glor’s muscles. That proved ineffective, as she would have had to learn to move the way a baby does; by endless trial and error, and would have taken nearly as long as a newborn simply to learn to turn over. After a short time of fruitless experimentation, however, Amy found the trick of using what has been called muscle-memory; the reflex actions, trained into Glor’s mind and body by twenty years of simply living; the same reflexes Glor herself used as she went about her daily tasks. After that it went quickly.
     Her body began twisting into a series of strange positions, bringing confusion, until she realized the Amy was stretching her muscles, limbering up, and finding the limits of what she had to work with. The vastly different way the woman was using her body was fascinating. When Glor wanted to take something from the table she reached out for it with her hand, a thing she had always thought made sense. When Amy did the same thing, though, she often reached out first with her arm, then her forearm, and finally her hand, a flowing movement that give the impression that the arm was nearly boneless. Each movement of Amy’s (and now Glor’s) body was a part of an endless, ongoing dance, the result of many years of a conscious effort on her part to be graceful.
     Finished with the warming up, Amy astonished her by doing things with her body that she would have thought flatly impossible. She informed Glor that she was pleased, finding in her someone in very good condition, and far more limber and agile than Amy had anticipated. She had none of the dancer’s hard won flexibility, though, so a split was out of the question (though Amy came close enough to draw a surprised gasp from Glor). Instead she had strength and fine motor control which Amy now used in ways truly amazing. What Amy had first taken for fat was a layer of solid muscle, a result of years of hard physical labor.
     “Music,” her voice said, doing Amy’s bidding. Donald complied, activating a music cube that had been readied, in the event the experiment was successful.
     In the end, two hours later, it was a nearly exhausted but gloriously happy Glor who was dancing, while Amy observed with approval.

*

     It was nearly dawn when Glor, tired but happy, crawled back through the locus and into her bedding. Before she left the lab, with only a few words, she paid Amy back for the skills she had been taught this night.
     Donald had been reaching for the cut off switch that would restore Amy to her own body when Glor decided to tell her privately what she had already decided to tell her before leaving for home.
     [Before I leave, Sister, I have to tell you that you and Donald are two of the most foolish people I have ever met.]
     (Foolish? Us? But why?)
     She mentally stamped a foot. [Because, you idiot, you love him, but you say and do nothing about it, because you’re so damned sure he could never care for someone as plain and uneducated as you.]
     Amy gave the impression of a frown. (Are you telling me that…that he cares for me as more than just as a friend?) There was dawning wonder in her words.
     [Of course he does. How could you not see? Even if I hadn’t shared his memories, I could see it in the way he looks at you. Anyone but you could. He adores you, but like you, he stupidly says and does nothing, because he thinks someone as wonderful and talented as you could never care for someone so prosaic and dull. Are all of your people too foolish to speak out when they care for someone? I don’t understand how your race survives.]
     Her question went unanswered. Amy was too busy glowing with happiness to pay any attention, and the mental cut-off was made before she could turn her attention back to their conversation. Amy said nothing about what had passed between them to either her orDonald, but later, when she looked back at the lab through the locus, the way Amy was studying Donald said that his bachelor days were numbered. Glor envied her happiness.
     On her return home she bore two things in addition to the soap pilfered from his bathroom. The first was a tiny ear-piece music player that had an alarm clock function, a thing she would need this morning if she hoped to be up and functioning on time. The second was a pre-cooked breakfast of fowl egg and meat, one that heated itself when the lid was removed. She sampled one before the transfer back home and the exotic textures and flavors were amazing. Transferred to one of their own plates, her father unhappily ate it, with the complaint that it wasn’t a proper breakfast without tul’st gruel.
     If he had known that she fell back into bed when he left for the fields, he would have been even more upset.
 
     To Glor’s disappointment, Amy was not in the room when she emerged the next night. She had hoped to learn what had gone on between the two of them after she left for home the night before. Instead, there was an entire committee waiting to greet her. Some of those gathered there were viewing her through small boxy devices she recognized as cameras. Most stared with unconcealed interest, some few with hostility; none with friendship in their eyes.
     A florid face man turned to Donald when she emerged, asking, “Does she understand anything we say?”
     “She speaks English quite well,” was Donald’s only comment. He seemed more subdued than usual, and acted as though the man was nobility, come to inspect the land. The word “politician,” came unbidden into her head.
     The man nodded in response to Donald’s remark.
     “A commendable job on your part, teaching her so quickly.” The fact that she had learned the language in less than two days seemed not to have impressed him at all.
     He turned to face her, his voice hearty, but as sincere as that of the tax man welcoming you to his office.
     “Well, well, you must be the one they call Glor.” She repressed the snort of disgust that wanted to come. But before she could respond, the man, oozing practiced charm, continued, with, “I want to tell you how very pleased we are to be able to extend the hand of friendship and assistance to the less fortunate worlds, like your own.”
     He stepped forward and extended his own hand to her, waiting, she realized for a handshake; a custom not in existence on her own world.
     She took the proffered hand, noting with disgust that all trace of the callus of honest work was absent. She also noted that he smelled of flowers and leaned away from her as he took her hand, as though she herself smelled less then sweet—though in fairness, she probably did. She noticed too that he surreptitiously wiped his hand on the leg of his pants when he stepped away from her. He might be from another world, but his type was all too common on her own, usually trying to sell her something.
     Also, true to type, he wasn’t finished talking. In fact, he blathered on for nearly five minutes, saying little that couldn’t be condensed down to: “Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”
     In the end, satisfied that he had discharged his obligation and milked the situation for all it was worth, he gathered up the majority of the people in the room and headed toward the exit, saying “Well I’m sure you all have lots of work to do, so we won’t stand in your way.”
     That was the most interesting thing he had said since she’d arrived.
     Donald shrugged. “That was the director. He—”
     Glor cut him off. She had no desire to learn more about the man, and even less to learn about Earth’s current politics. “Forget him, what about me?” she demanded. “The Frolic starts late tomorrow afternoon.” She had a better idea now, of how to act, but appearance was her major concern, and what she would be wearing another area of worry. The only clothing of quality she owned was Ma’s wedding dress, and that was many sizes too small.
      “Don’t worry, Glor. That’s what we have scheduled for tonight.” He pointed at the table, not bothering to introduce the two men who had remained in the room. “I want you to look at some pictures.”
     Puzzled, she walked to the table, finding it littered with hundreds of photos of the women of her planet.
     “What’s this?” She gestured at the photographs, whose purpose was unknown. “I don’t understand.”
     He joined her at the table, saying, “I want you to pick out the pictures of women the men of your world would find desirable.” He held his hands, palm up. “We can’t really judge what your standards of beauty are, you see. Our opinions are colored by our own ideas and customs.”
     That made sense, so she nodded approval and turned to the table, taking a seat and beginning to sort the attractive women into one small pile, while discarding the rest. Behind her she heard one of the men comment, “Exactly what I picked. Didn’t I tell you?”
     She finished, and turned in her seat to face the men. “Now what?”
     “Now, Dr. Simpson and Dr. Critten do their work, and make you beautiful,” he said, by way of introduction. He was speaking English for the benefit of the others.
     “Dr. Simpson?” she said, eyebrows rising. “What kind of a doctor?” She was afraid she knew.
     Dr. Simpson smoothly joined the conversation. He had obviously had long practice in reassuring nervous patients. “A doctor of beauty, madam. I take people who, through no fault of their own, are less than perfect, and make a few tiny changes here and there to bring them to the perfection they deserve.” He bowed slightly.
     “You’re going to cut my face, right?” Her voice was flat, and her tone was meant to tell him, “Don’t try to bullshit me.”
     The doctor smiled in return and changed the subject. “Let’s forget the how for now. Instead, let’s look at the results.”
     He led her to a chair, set in one corner of the room. There was little doubt to its purpose, but to her surprise, he didn’t ask her to sit in it. Instead, he swiveled a suspended screen to face her and stepped to a keyboard, located on a nearby table. A moment more, and he had a color likeness of her face staring at them from the screen.
     With a pointing device of some kind in his hand, he stepped to the monitor, and proceeded to redesign her face.
     “We might begin with a narrowing of the bridge of the…umm…nose here.” The picture changed. “Perhaps a sculpting of the chin, here.” There were more changes. “And I favor a bit of added cheek lift, here.”
     He turned to her, saying, “Those are just the rough details of what we plan, but what do you think?”
     She was rooted in place. It was her looking out from the screen, but it also wasn’t her. It was the Glor who might have been, had her genetic heritage been only a trifle different.
     The doctor had little trouble leading her to a seat in the chair. She hardly noticed when he touched her with the medical stunner.

*

     When she woke, her face hurt nearly everywhere. She was still in the chair, adjusted back now to form the most comfortable bed she had ever lain in. The two doctors were gone, but Donald was sitting nearby, waiting and reading a magazine.
     She rested for a moment, nearly afraid to move, afraid of what she would find when she looked in the mirror. Something had been done. That was made obvious by pain that caused her to blow out her breath in reaction. But that was bearable. What, and how much had been done was another story, one of far more importance.
     Hesitantly, she touched her face. Her skin was numb and tingly where she touched it, but it felt the same as it always did, except for a soft slickness that she assumed was the result of a protective lotion. One of the problems with her rapid education was that it was spotty. She could know no more about what had been done to her than Donald and Amy knew before the memory transfer. Less, if the fact that the information transfer wasn’t total was taken into account.
     Donald had apparently seen her movement out of the corner of his eye, and he now lay the magazine aside.
     “Finally with us again, I see.”
     She thought she could detect an un-Donald-like heartiness in his voice. It was, she feared, the forced enthusiasm of the hospital visitor who wishes to avoid giving the patient bad news.
     Frowning, she struggled to a sitting position, then stood, still a bit unsteady. “Stifle it, Donald. I have to use the bathroom.”
     She actually did have to use that facility, but they both knew the real reason she was in such a hurry was to look in the mirror.
 
     She stood for a long time, both hands on the sink, face inches from the glass. Each time she started to move away, her gaze was drawn back to the mirror, where a familiar stranger looked back to her. It was the woman on the monitor and more. The hook in her nose was gone, as were the puffy bags under her eyes. They had lightly touched her everywhere, and yet, at the same time, try as she might, she could find no trace of a scar or telltale line to indicate that surgery had taken place. Only the deep ache of her abused tissue, complaining about what had been done, proved that she had not always looked as she did now. Even that was fading and would soon be only a memory.
 
    She walked from that bathroom a different person than she had been when she entered. Even her walk was changed—deliberately. Her carriage and movements now reflected more of Amy than Glor, with even the set of her head projecting femininity and assurance. Later perhaps, she would revert to Glor, but for now, it was Princess Glor.
     Donald gave her an amused smile, as he said, “Well, Your Majesty, are you ready for the royal dressmaker to enter and minister your needs?”
     “What?” He had shocked her out of her happy trance. “What time is it? Better yet, what day is it?” She felt well rested, so she had been unconscious for some time. Given the state of her healing it might have been several days.
     He went to the cupboard. “Bacon and eggs okay?” He could have suggested serving a slice of her own leg and she would have nodded an okay, at that point, so lost in wonder was she.
     At her nod, he began to prepare breakfast, reassuring her with, “Relax, Glor, it’s only a little past dawn at your home. There are ways of doing that,” He gestured at her face, “… without opening you up with a knife. He bustled about, heating two breakfasts and setting the little table. Once again, she found, she had the necessary knowledge in her mind, but had not thought about it until his words triggered the memory.
     She put that aside with a shake of her head.
     “What did you mean by your comment about the dressmaker?” she asked, distractedly, admiring her reflection on the glass surface of the monitor, smoothing her hair into something more appropriate to her face.
     He placed the dishes on the table, interrupting her.
     “Eat, Glor,” he suggested, “before it gets cold. There’s a lot to do before the Frolic.” She sat at the table and looked up at him questioningly, waiting for the answer to her question.
     “Well,” he began, as he took a seat himself, “… there’s your dress to fit, makeup and hairdresser appointments… It’s quite a lineup.” He motioned at the fork, lying untouched in front of her. “Get started, so we can get it all finished in time.”
     She picked up the fork, then stopped. “Wait. What happens when my Pa wakes up and finds me missing?”
     Donald smiled around his eggs. “He doesn’t. We went in last night and stunned him. He’ll sleep like a baby until tomorrow morning. By then, you’ll be back.” His lips thinned with distaste. “I took care of the livestock too.”
     She sat back in her chair and thought it over, smiling at his discomfort. This promised to be an interesting day.

*

     It’s beautiful, Donald, but how can I wear a shoe made of glass? The first time I take a step, the thing will break.”
     The morning had indeed been interesting, as she enjoyed the exotic pampering and primping usually reserved for the female inhabitants of a high-tech society. She had her hair cut and styled, her nails buffed and polished until they gleamed like fine jewels, and best of all, a make-up artist did magic things to further enhance her new face. There was even an early visit by a dentist, to whiten and clean her teeth. That worthy frowned at the condition of her mouth, and had insisted on repairing two of her teeth and capping a third. He topped it off with a stern lecture on oral hygiene, and the gift of her first toothbrush. All in all, it was a morning to remember.
     The dress, made of fabric finer than she had believed possible, hwas a wonder to cap all of the other wonders of this day. But now it was time to leave, and Donald had presented her with a pair of glass slippers.
     “Try them on, Glor,” was all he said, holding them out to her.
     Reluctantly, she accepted the shoes. Curious, she flexed one. It bent easily. “Oh, plastic,” she said, as she slipped them on her feet.
     Donald gave her a ruefully smile. “My idea, I’m afraid. It’s kind of traditional in this situation.”
     About to ask, the story of Cinderella came to her mind, and she reached out a hand to touch his cheek. “You’re sweet, Donald. Foolishly romantic, and lots of other things, but sweet. Thank you.” She took a deep breath, bubbling over with excitement. “Now, let’s do it! Open the hatch.”
     Donald went to the console and began to activate the equipment for the portal. “We have a location pinpointed behind one of the food stands. It’s shielded from direct view, so you can come and go easily. I was even able to get it a bit closer to the ground, so it won’t be so hard to get through. I’ll reactivate the portal tonight, and keep the lights out here so it doesn’t show. If you have difficulty finding it in the dark, just call out.”
     She balked. “But why?” she asked. “Why do I have to run off like that?” The necessary memory came, and she nodded her understanding. “Oh, I see, to make me a woman of mystery, and break the shock of my humble upbringing gradually.” She shrugged. “Okay, we’ll try it your way.”
     The locus formed and she moved toward it, then stopped, as curiosity prompted: “I asked you this once before, Don. Let me ask again now. What do you get out of this? What good does it do if I actually marry the prince?”
     Donald leaned around the monitor unit of the console and said, “You can act through the prince and bring progress to your people, Glor. Maybe you can start a school, and get your people moving in the right direction. We have to start somewhere.”
     She thought about that for a moment, humming tunelessly to herself. Then she started toward the locus once more, only to stop a second time. This time she turned and headed toward the bathroom.
     “Now? You have to go now?” Donald was obviously exasperated. “Women!” he complained, as he slapped his palm on the edge of the console.
     She emerged immediately, bearing a handful of paper towels. The dress was too confining and the heels of her shoes too high for her to simply squat-walk through the locus. Instead, she would be forced to cross over via the ungainly method of crawling. She looked at him with disgust. “You don’t really expect me to crawl in the dirt over there and ruin my manicure, do you?” With that, she reached through the opening and arranged the towels on the dirt of her world. Then, hiking her dress to protect it further, she passed through the locus and was gone.

*

     The room was dark when she arrived, lit only by the glow of the instrument cluster associated with the transport device. She straightened, and began to dance, humming as she twirled. Finally, she turned to face him.
     “Wonderful! It was wonderful!” she said, ecstatically hugging herself. “You should have been there, Donald.”
     He closed the locus and turned on the lights, blinding them both for a moment.
     “Tell me about it, Glor. Was it fun? Did you dance with the prince?” His voice was that of a little boy, imploring mommy to tell him about her party, and hoping she had brought him a present as well.
     “Dance with the prince? Are you kidding? Honey, I danced with everyone. I even put on a performance of solo dancing that knocked their socks off.” She was positively glowing as she continued. “And I talked with everyone, and I ate until I thought my dress would pop.” She caught his hands and whirled him wildly around. “I thought today was amazing, but, Donald, this was the most exciting night of my whole life. And it’s only the start!” Her eyes were shining, and her enthusiasm, infectious.
     He stopped their mad whirling and took her by the shoulders. “The prince, Glor; did you nail the prince?”
     Her expression hardened and her mouth turned down as she remembered.
     “Oh, him. What a yutz he is.” Her face mirrored the disgust in her voice.
     “What?” Donald appeared to be in shock.
     She shrugged, knocking his hands from her and turning to slouch across the room, her good mood destroyed.
     “He’s a yutz, Don, a total jerk, a schmuck, a… Well, I could go on for an hour about that one.”
     She took off her slippers, tossing them in the corner.
     “My feet are killing me,” she said, looking over at the shoes and shaking her head. “Those things are pretty, but murder on the feet.” She went to the table to slump into a seat, stretching her arms over her head, putting her feet up on one of the other chairs while breathing a sigh.
     “But the prince?” Donald was obviously still lost.
     She waved a hand at him, saying, “A loser, Don. A total loser. It’s bad enough he turned out to be the dumbest man in the whole damn kingdom, he also has to be the most boring. All he could talk about was his animals and his battles. The man’s head’s been hit one time too many with a practice sword.”
     Donald gamely tried to salvage something. “But does he want to marry you? Did we waste all this time?”
     She sat up, dropping her legs to the floor. “Marry me? I guess so.” She thought for a moment. “I guess he probably would…if I wanted him. He can’t see past a pretty face, and he isn’t smart enough to know a good or bad deal when he sees it.” She nodded. “I’m pretty sure I could wrap him around my finger, if I could only stand him.” She laughed, adding, “But I’d sooner live exactly as I did before you arrived than live with someone like him. Killing that moron would probably be a great service to the kingdom.” She waved a finger at him. “I’ll tell you something, Don; when the old king dies, and that dummy takes over, we’re all in big trouble.”
     “But…but…” As usual, he was sputtering. He sank weakly into the chair at the transport console.
     She took pity on him and came to pat his cheek. “Relax, Don. Everything is under control. I am getting married. It’s just not to the prince.”
     “But…” He trailed off. Things just weren’t going the way he’d planned. That much was obvious.
     For a time, she enjoyed the sight of him at a loss for words, then took pity and eased his misery. “I plan to marry Denillo the Trader. He happens to be one of the richest men in the kingdom, not too bad looking, and a hell of a honker in bed.”
     Donald’s eyes were glassy. “You mean you and he…you…I mean…”
     She patted his cheek again. “You’re cute, Donald. Did you know that? Of course we went to bed. We’re going to be married, after all, and I wanted to enjoy this Frolic. What good is a Frolic if you don’t…well, frolic?” She smiled in remembrance, then sighed and went on.
     “Anyway, Danillo has lots and lots of money, and I have lots and lots of ideas. Between the two of us, knowing what I know now, I plan to take over the kingdom before old Stolman kicks off and leaves his moron son in charge of the place. Getting our whole world on track may take a little longer.
     “But—” Donald appeared to be weakening, and his vocabulary wasn’t improving.
     “Hey, Donny, relax.” She laughed, smiling down at him. “We both got what we wanted, right? My world will be on the road to progress, and I got my wish to go to the Frolic. I ended up with a good man, and you…well…you did all right too. You got a better woman than you deserve. A nice bonus, right?” She waited, watching him steadily until he gave her a small nod. As she had hoped, he and Amy had finally gotten together. That was good. She smacked him on the shoulder for emphasis as she said, “Why be upset? You’ll probably even get a promotion out of this. It qualifies as a ‘good work,’ right?”
     He slumped in his seat. From his expression he was finally becoming aware that things had never been fully in his control.
     Leaning down, she reached out a hand to flip the activate-lever for the locus, still focused as it had been.
     “I just stopped back for a moment to thank you, and to say goodbye,” she said, gently touching his cheek. She kissed him on the forehead, then walked toward the locus, a black circle in the center of the room. Halfway there she stopped, turning back to face him, saying “You can keep the shoes as a souvenir, Don. Maybe Amy can use them.” About to turn away, she smiled and went to where she had tossed the shoes, picking one to take with her. She held it up to show him. “No, on second thought, I think I’ll take this one with me.” She grinned, as she said, “You can only keep one. It’s more traditional that way.”
     She turned serious for a moment, as she added, “I think…with just a little luck, you can look for us to return the visit in about a hundred years or so.” Then, with a grin, she blew him a kiss and was gone.

     

Fin

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Author’s note:
 
     I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, and got here from Facebook, pressing the “Share” button at the page bottom will let others know the story is here, and give them the chance to read it, as well.
     And if my little story pleased you, I’m glad. There are other stories posted, as well. You and others like you are the reason I write. If it did bring a moment of reading pleasure, take a moment to rate it. Feedback matters to me. And if you’re in the mood for something a bit longer. make a stop to look at my novels, and read the excerpts to see if they please, as well.

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2012 in Short Story

 

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Stories, and Why I Hate Them – The Grumpy Writing Coach

Stories, and Why I Hate Them – The Grumpy Writing Coach
     Okay, this is another rant. Why? Because I’m pretty damn tired of reading Stories. And that capital S is there deliberately. I like stories. I just can’t stand Stories.
     Talk to any group of new writers or visit any online writers community and it’s all about Story. Look at the posted work on those communities and it’s always the same. They’re all focused on telling their Story. And that’s it. That’s the whole and only purpose of the writing, to make the reader know the Story. Except that it’s not. Writing fiction is about entertainment—interesting, satisfying, and time filling entertainment.
     Flush the idea that readers come to us for Story. Burn it. Shred it. Feed it to the hogs. Just get rid of it, because readers don’t give a damn about Story until they close the book, lean back, and say, “That was a _______ story.” (Fill in good/great/lousy/etc. as appropriate)
     Until they do that, all that matters is the writing. Think about it. I can take any situation, hand it to virtually any competent writer and say, “Write me a page about ___,” and be certain I’ll get a page that will entice the reader to continue to the bottom and then turn to the next page. It can be about a physical battle, a romantic tryst, or taking out the damn garbage. It doesn’t matter, because that skilled writer can entice you through their ability to make the scene both real and interesting to read, through their presentation skills, their command of point of view, and through their knowledge of what it takes to please a reader. That’s what sets the professional writer apart from all the wannabees. It’s not having great plot ideas. It’s not luck or “natural talent,” It’s knowing how to write for the selected medium. It’s knowing the little tricks of how to to hold a reader’s interest.
     And if you have that ability. If you can can entice your customer to read from top to bottom of the page because they want to, and do for three hundred fifty pages in a row, you’ve written something the reader will enjoy, and recommend to friends. And isn’t the entire purpose of buying fiction to find reading enjoyment on every page, from top to bottom? I don’t know about anyone else, but I sure don’t buy fiction and plow through a history lesson on the life of a fictional character just so I can find an interesting twist on page three twenty-five. That twist is a plus, not the reason I’m still reading well past bedtime. I’m doing that because of the writing.
     If your plot isn’t all that great a reader might say it wasn’t much of a story, true, but they will call it a satisfying read. And that’s what writing is all about. So give your customer a readable page, paragraph, sentence. Choose your words to entice. Think about making every single reading moment compelling, or at least more interesting than whatever a given reader might do where they not reading your book. Just, for God’s sake don’t focus on Story, because that’s history, and history is boring.
     Why? Because history is a chronicle, not a story. It’s a collection of facts, and we usually read facts to be informed, not entertained. They’re devoid of emotion because they’re about completed, and immutable events, not those events as they unfold. And I’m not talking about the use of past tense in presenting the story, I’m talking about being in the character’s moment of now, no matter the tense the writer elects to use in the telling.
     When we read history we’re not sharing the adventure and we have no emotional investment. We’re learning. We won’t worry if some action or plan of the protagonist will work because it’s already happened and we’re only being told the sequence in which it happened. But worry is something readers feed on. It’s worry that causes them to care, and it’s the trick we use, as writers, to hook our reader. If you can make a reader worry they care about the character’s future.
     Worry makes a reader speculate on what the protagonist should do, and what they, themself, would do, were they living the scene. And since the character is just as uncertain as we are, we form an emotional bond with that character because we have something in common, without realizing why, or even that we do. We only know that we want to know what will happen next. And if the writer is skilled enough to make it seem that the story is progressing in real-time (and we certainly should be) we will feel exactly the same sense of urgency the character does.
     But…if we tell the story as a chronicle of events, there can be no sense of urgency because it feels like a report, not something going on around us. And why does that matter? Because a report can be put aside. Great writing can’t.

 

A VTech Christmas Present Warning

A VTech Christmas Present Warning

 
 
 
     VTech, the toy company, has a perfectly delightful little toy called the Alphabet Activity Cube. One of its many features is that the child can choose and insert one of the supplied blocks into a well on the toy’s front, and be entertained with, “Good…you found a G,” or a song featuring that letter. Unfortunately, more then ten percent of the time the letter inserted isn’t the one the toy announces. Usually, it will be one higher or lower in the alphabet, but at times it’s way off and seems a random choice.
Producing a toy that is supposed to teach our children their letters, but which provides the wrong letter, is unconscionable.
     I called VTech’s support line, and though the toy has been on the market for some time, the representative claimed that no one had reported the problem before. He suggested that it was a malfunction of that particular unit, not the product, and that I should exchange it for another of the same model. Yet, when I checked the local store, every one of that toy on the store’s shelf demonstrated the identical inability to recognize their letter blocks.
     For forty years, computer and computer system design was my profession. On hearing the toy misread for the first time, my reaction was that there was a programming problem, probably improper initialization of a register, or poor handling of an interrupt. But whatever the cause, it was a design error, not a defective part in that unit. And that’s been demonstrated as true by its reproducibility in every toy tried. It gives me no pleasure to be right, in this case, because the little girl loves the toy.
     Perhaps most people wouldn’t notice it, or put it down to mishearing the announcement, since the toy’s sound quality isn’t that high and a second insertion of the block usually brings the correct response. But VTech should have easily found the problem during normal acceptance testing, so it appears that their quality assurance department needs to be better educated on testing methods—and the need to test for long enough, and hard enough to actually find the bugs.
     I have to add that I’m not at all impressed with the company, in general. I discovered the problem on the weekend. Since their phone hours are active only during Monday through Friday business hours, I elected to use the email address supplied on their documentation. It didn’t work. I next tried the hyperlink they provide on their website. But that only demonstrated that, yes, the mail address isn’t active. Another thing they weren’t aware of, according to the phone rep.
Not exactly what you would expect from a reliable company. But further checking showed that VTech is just another Chinese company pushing crap out the door, working or not working, for a buck. It didn’t come as a surprise.
     So the bottom line? Avoid this toy. And if you’re a parent expecting gifts from friends and relatives for your little one, make sure they know. Our kids are far too precious to let someone take advantage of them this way.

 
 

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Let There Be, uhh… Light

Let There Be, uhh… Light
 
 
Stray thoughts come. And as always, are going to get me into trouble.
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So all this talk about God liking or not liking gay marriage got me thinking on a simple question: why does anyone, today, buy into religion? Understand it, yes. Enjoy it as a social thing, of course. But believe without question? I certainly can’t explain it.
 
To start out with, we’re asked to accept as literal and unassailable truth a story that not only can’t be proven; it can be refuted on virtually every page by a reasonably knowledgeable ten year old.
 
Open to the first page of the Bible and what do we find? Right after zapping the universe into existence God creates light.
 
Light? God certainly doesn’t need any. According to dogma he’s been around forever, and only created the known universe on a whim a bit less than six thousand years ago. Obviously, he doesn’t need light. And the fact that he doesn’t while we do, kind of undermines the “created in his image,” idea.
 
Strangely, when light was created there was nowhere to watch from, and nothing to see. So why bother? Why not have light appear along with the sun and stars? That is where the light comes from, after all.
 
No one ever seems to ask about this point. Though the fact that the church used to burn people at the stake for asking inconvenient questions, and still discourages that kind of thought, might explain. Still, you’d think God would want at least the basic science right, like creating the sun, then setting the planets spinning around it. I sometimes wonder what he would say if he read the things they they report him doing.
 
Still…
 
On the surface, light appearing before the sun comes into being seems a crazy idea. But only today. In past times, it not only made perfect sense, it fit the evidence, perfectly:
 
Assume for a minute that you’re someone who’s intelligent, but at the same time, ignorant of such things as diffraction, reflection, diffusion, and optics. In other words an educated and thoughtful person, living several thousand years ago. And as someone living in biblical times, you know with certainty that the Earth is flat. After all, if the world is round people would fall off. Any idiot can look at a steep hillside and see that.
 
So, our scientist storyteller is getting ready to tell his audience how the world and everything in it came to be. He’s fact-checking his story.
 
With that in mind let’s look at the evidence this early writer has, and apply both his intelligence and his knowledge to the world at large so he can write his story.
 
We know light travels in a straight line. We prove that easily enough by holding out a stick on a cloud free day. It casts a shadow exactly the size of the stick, something easily measurable. Raise the stick as high as you care to and the shadow cast by the sun remains the same size. The shadow of a building is neither narrower nor wider from bottom to top Conclusion: light travels in a straight line. And that also holds true if tested with a candle or a campfire. In fact, when tested with a candle as the only source of light, anything in the shadow of whatever is blocking the light is in pitch darkness. That’s an important point, too, because it has direct application in the next point.
 
In daylight, though, the darkness of the shadow isn’t absolute. Obviously, light is coming from all over the sky, not then just the sun. Inescapable conclusion: the sun is not the only source of daylight. And were it removed we would still have day and night.
 
Doubt that? Let’s go further and select a building with a window on the side opposite the sun. If you place an object in the light from that window the shadow, which obviously cannot be coming from the sun’s light, will narrow with distance from the object. Again, obvious to that ancient scholar: there are many sources for that light through the window, none of them sunlight. And since it’s obviously impossible to have light without a source, the fact that the light exists, in and of itself, proves that God exists and wants it to happen. We know better today, of course, we with our science and our instruments.
 
But people living in biblical times? They had a graphic demonstration of God’s amazing power every-single-day.
 
So certainly God would create that light first. In fact, by the text, he created light, then day and night, both brought into being before he made the sun.
 
So biblical storytelling makes perfect sense if you apply intelligence, coupled with a lack of any scientific knowledge, to the problem. And once it’s written, accepted, and the words are declared holy, who dares question? Only fools like me.
 
Who wrote that particular story? It can’t be God because whoever it was began to get their facts wrong at the top of the very first page. God’s version would be factual, and have the sun, not the earth, at the center of the solar system. After all, God wouldn’t lie. Would he?
 
No one ever asks who was there, taking notes on the day light was being created, either. The tale is written From the point of view of someone relating a memory—but who, in reality, is speculating based on an incomplete understanding of available data.
 
No one ever asks why, if the creation story is true, the light of stars residing millions of light years away from our little planet has already reached us, without the necessity of traveling for millions of years to get here.
 
The Bible is littered with such things. Yet strangely, millions of intelligent people, who could, and should see the obvious, read the opening of the Bible and say, “Yup. That’s exactly how it happened. It says so right there in my Bible.”
 
As you read this, science is driving a vehicle on the sands of Mars, taking pictures and firing lasers at rocks. Science has sent exploring ships to the planets, and beyond even the boundaries of our small family of planets. Science kept my wife and son alive after they contracted cancer. It makes possible such things as you reading this at the touch of a key, and the magic box in your kitchen that provides eternal winter inside its door.
 
Religion? They’re busy arguing over who can have sex with whom, and why they get to dictate.
 
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Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Random Thoughts and Grumblings

 

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Linda

Linda

 
 

     Linda sat, hunched forward in the rocker chewing her lip and ignoring the pain that came with each breath, as she studied the man on the bed.
     Lying face down, where he had thrown himself, Jack sprawled across the bed in a stupor brought on by a night of drink and the effort of beating her. She could probably undress him, but that might wake him and bring a renewal of the anger. In the morning, sober again, he would be apologetic—a model husband—but not now.
     Killing him would easy and satisfying, and she thought about that for a long time. The pleasure those thoughts generated were a bulwark against the pain. But she finally decided against it. If she wasn’t able to do it quickly enough, and if he got his hands on her…
     Hands clenched in her lap, she mouthed the words she didn’t dare speak—the feelings she could never express aloud.
     She for a time on why she’d said yes to him as a second husband—the second man to treat her as an object on which to vent rage. Stupid? Yes. But at the time a necessary decision, or seemed so.
     But it had led to this, so he would be the last. That was certain, because no man would ever raise a hand to her again.
     How stupid she had been, but how lucky she’d thought herself, at seventeen, in finding Opie, her knight in uniform, who provided a way out of the battle-torn shack her parents called home.
     Opie, with his marine swagger and imperious manner had the worldliness of someone who had traveled beyond the county of his birth. He seemed her great hope of escape. But it was an escape to something worse than her home: a marriage that lasted only seven months, all of it downhill, leaving her alone, frightened, bruised—and with only pennies in her jeans—limping along a rural highway in Mississippi.
     This second marriage lasted a year. There would be no other.
     With a sigh, she leaned back into the old rocker, wincing at a twinge of pain from a new bruise. Like the other beatings, this one had its beginnings in events over which she had no control.
 
*

     Jack came onto the porch, the hesitation in his step announcing that he was already drunk. She gave thought to hiding in the shed until he slept it off. But he was already reaching for the door. And, drunk or sober he had been fairly well behaved since the last time, nearly a month before. And the one time she had hidden, he accused her of being unfaithful—of being out of the house with another man—and had whipped her with his belt until she had prayed to die.
     Jack, angry and sober, was a far worse thing than when he was under the influence of a few beers. She thought then about leaving, had even begun packing, but in the end, returned everything to its place before he could notice. Without money or skills, and with Jack’s promise to track her down and kill her if she left, options were terribly limited.
     Instead of hiding, this night, she smiled when he came into the living room.
     ”Hi, honey,” she forced herself to say. “How was your day?”
     He was five hours late for dinner, now long cold in the refrigerator.
     He growled something unintelligible and sank into the easy chair, blowing out a cloud of beery breath and scratching his stomach. Seeing the condition he was in, she sincerely hoped he was not in the mood for sex. After a few beers, he lost what little consideration he normally had for her pleasure, using her as he might a druken slut, rather than a beloved wife. Sometimes, she wondered if he actually knew the meaning of the word love. Sober, he was a passable, if unimaginative lover, but drunk, he was an unfeeling brute, demanding things of her as he might a prostitute.
     She studied him, seeking some clue as to what kind of mood he was in, so she could adapt herself to it and get through the night.
     He muttered again. Missing his words a second time, she said, “What was that, Jack, honey? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
     He swiveled his head toward her, mouth turned down in disgust. “I said, I lost the fucking job, you deaf bitch! I lost the fucking job.”
     Oh shit. She clamped hard on the urge to run for the door. That would be suicide. Running triggered his hunting instincts, and he was sitting between her and the door.
     The problem wasn’t the loss of the job. Jack could always find another. He was a good mechanic—could be a better one if not for the drinking. The fear was for what that loss might mean for her.
     Forcing the chair around with a shriek of complaining wood, he pointed a grease-stained finger at her.
     ”Let me tell you, something, baby. That Jew bastard Koch—the fucker who owns the God damned agency—he wouldn’t know a good mechanic from a dumb nigger, but he’s gonna pay for this. I’ll tell you that. He’s gonna pay real good!”
     ”What will you do, Jack?” Her voice was a tiny thing, mouse-like, and inoffensive, she hoped.
     He stared at her for a long moment, then mimicked her voice, bringing his own to a nerve-jangling falsetto screech she despised.
     ”What will you do, Jack? What will you do, Jack? What the hell do you think I’m going to do? I’m going to kill that bastard. That’s what I’m going to do.”
     The shock must have shown on her face, because he abruptly stood, overbalancing and stumbling against the footstool, which he kicked out of the way with a crash.
     ”Don’t you fucking look at me that way, you bitch! The whole thing’s your fault anyway.”
     Wise enough to keep her mouth shut, she said nothing, simply poised herself to flee, if necessary. With a growl, he waved a backhanded blow at her, mumbling, “Pow! I ought to do a job on you, but you’re too fucking dumb to change.”
     With that, he stumbled into the darkened bedroom, accompanied by her sigh of relief.
     Unfortunately, he was only passing through it, making a toilet call. He returned to the living room far too soon, then headed for the kitchen, where he opened the refrigerator, bracing himself against the door as he scanned the inside.
     She got to her feet and began easing toward the front door, but before she could get more than a few steps in that direction, the door of the old refrigerator slammed shut, accompanied by the crash of jars spilling from the door compartments.
     ”There’s no beer, you stupid bitch. I told you to buy some beer!”
     She thought of telling him the truth, that he hadn’t remembered to give her money for the beer, but that would only make him angrier.
     ”I’ll go now, Jack,” she said, hurriedly. “I’ll run down to the store right—”
     Any further words she might have said were stilled as his hand clamped on her windpipe, lifting her almost off her feet. The rest was a blur of pain and fear as he vented his rage on her, the cruel blows raining on her body like some demented parody of a boxing match. Only the fact that he would begin kicking her, should she fall to the floor, kept her on her feet, saying “please,” over and over in a litany of fear. When he threw her to the bed and began to tear at her clothing, it was a relief.
 

*

     The beating hadn’t lasted long, nor was it as bad as some, but it finally broke something inside her—a dam of pent-up anger and self-lothing that had been filling for years. First had been the endless years of vicious warfare between her parents, with their insane and unpredictable alterations between passion and hate—with her used as both a weapon and target. Then, there was the stupidity of her first marriage, and the death of her dreams of romance and escape. Now, there was Jack.
     As she sat watching her husband—hating him with every fiber of her being—she wondered how she could ever have put up with him. Certainly he was the one who took her in when Opie pushed her out of the car and drove off, though she had paid for that with the only coin she possessed—her body. Certainly, when he wasn’t drunk, he was a decent enough person.
     He was even handsome, when his face wasn’t flushed with anger. But at best, he treated her as though she was an appliance rather than a person, as though wives were bought at the discount store and had only specified and well defined functions: keep house, tend the small crop fields for him, wash his clothes, satisfy his sexual needs, and absorb his rage when necessary. It was assumed that any needs she had would be taken care of without his help. That he neither loved nor respected her was all too obvious.
     
     Reaching a decision, she stood and limped her way to the closet, where her battered old suitcase was stored, tucked behind a carton; hidden against her need. He had thrown it away, snarlingly informing her that she would never leave unless he ordered her out. But she retrieved it, carefully wiping away the mud stains before hiding it, while he was out of the house.
     Clearing the top of the dresser she opened the case, leaning the top against the mirror to hide her battered face from view. She began to pack, moving quietly enough not to disturb him, taking only what she could pack into that small case. Anything else might take too much time.
     Finally, finished, she moved to the bed and began the most difficult part: getting to his wallet. Lost job or not, this was payday, and he would have two weeks pay in his pocket, maybe even something extra as severance pay. He had been with the agency for seven months.
     Her own money, saved penny-by-penny from the household money, amounted to less than fifty dollars, and would take her no further than the next man like Jack. There would be no more like him, and for that more than just a few dollars were needed.
     Jack grumbled under his breath as she got into the bed, then settled down to snoring as she leaned against him, as though cuddling in her sleep. He never stirred as she removed the wallet.
     Nine-hundred dollars! There were nine one-hundred dollar bills in the wallet. And there were smaller bills, too. She didn’t take the time for an exact count, but there was enough to get her out of the county, even the state. Enough, perhaps, for a new start.
 
     Slinging her bag over her shoulder and picking up the suitcase, she cast a longing glance at the old sewing machine in the corner. Through the bad times it had been her companion and her solace. Leaving it was like leaving a dear friend. Everything in her wardrobe had been made on that machine, carefully copied from the dresses worn by models in the newspaper and in the magazines she took from trash cans. Jack had not let her even buy patterns, grumbling over the expense of the cloth she used.
     Unable to simply pass by, she bent her footsteps toward the old machine, stopping to run her hand over its smooth curves, stroking the cool metal of the drive wheel and thinking about how well it would do to sew a shroud for her husband.
     About to leave at last, she turned her head for a last look at his sleeping form, then stopped, her fingernails tapping on the metal of the machine—wondering. She stood that way for a long time, then picked up the suitcase and headed for the front door.
 
     The night air was soft and filled with the growing smells of springtime, symbolizing, for her, a new beginning, one that would take her from this place, and this life. Never again would she submit. Never again would she permit a man to dominate her life. A line had been crossed, and there would be no going back. The flame of anger had been hard to ignite. Life before this had seen to that, but now it burned with a clear and steady glow, as she loaded her suitcase into the rear seat of the car. She placed her worn old shoulder bag on the front passenger seat, then slipped the keys into the ignition, where they would be ready. Sliding out of the car, she closed the door far enough to extinguish the overhead light and kill the warning tones, but left it unlatched, in case she might have to get into the car on a run. Finally, she headed back to the house.
 
     First, she bathed herself, flinching at the new bruises and scowling in disgust at the yellowed remains of the older ones. Then, she dressed herself in the best of the clothing remaining in her closet. Finally, she headed toward her sewing box for needle and thread.
     There was anger in her hands as she sewed, and anger in the teeth that bit off the ends of the thread she sewed with. It was not the kind of anger that Jack knew. His was unreasoning rage, destructive and wild. Hers was cold and controlled, serving her purpose. Moments after she started, her lips turned up in a grim little smile at the realization that there was little chance of him stopping her, even should he wake. Insuring that, the first thing she did was to sew the legs of his pants together at the bottom, then, after rolling his inert form onto his back, she sewed his sleeves to his shirt front, using heavy duty button thread. Even should he wake, and somehow manage to get free, doing so would take time. She knew she could beat him to the car, if it came to that, and knew, too, that the car would come to life at the first touch of the starter. To Jack that was a mark of professional pride, and would work in her favor.
 
But there was no need to run. He never woke. From either side of the bed she pulled the sheets free from the mattress and tossed them atop his body. Those, she joined to form a narrow tube which she converted to a form fitting suit by sewing them to his sleeves and pants, taking care not to stick him with the needle and wake him. It took several hours to complete the job, but when she finally finished, he was sealed inside a body-sack that bound his arms and legs far more securely than had she tied him. The sack she sewed to the mattress
     By then, she was humming to herself, not caring if he woke. Finally finished, she had only to go over the hurried work she had done in the beginning, reinforcing it until she was satisfied that there would no easy escape. He could probably work his way out, but that would take hours.
     He was awake when she cut the final thread, blinking his bloodshot eyes in the harsh morning light, his face filled with confusion. It was then that she sat back to admire her work, ignoring his angry questions. With a nod of satisfaction she stood, and then went looking for his baseball bat.
 
     Linda was humming to herself as she drove away, glad that she had taken the time to kiss him goodbye, even if he hadn’t noticed. It was, she decided, the start of a beautiful day.

     

Fin

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Author’s note:
 
     This piece began as a dramitization of an actual event, given me by the woman who claimed to have done it. She claims she got the idea from a story about Willie Nelson. Was it true? I have no idea, and the woman no longer lives where I can ask. But the story seemed to work, and because I was curious about what happened to Linda after that morning, I began the novel that followed her life after that traumatic night. It’s about one third finished, and one of these days I will get around to completing it.
 
     I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, and got here from Facebook, pressing the “Share” button at the page bottom will let others know the story is here, and give them the chance to read it, as well.
     
     And if my little story pleased you, I’m glad. There are other stories posted, as well. You and others like you are the reason I write. If it did bring a moment of reading pleasure, take a moment to rate it. Feedback matters to me. And if you’re in the mood for something a bit longer. make a stop to look at my novels, and read the excerpts to see if they please, as well.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Short Story

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Breaking Point

Breaking Point

 
 
 

     The scene is a dank, dungeon-like space, the floor stained with old blood, the walls impregnated with the screams of the dying. Centered, is a table on which James Bond lies, shackled and helpless. With him stands a man in a tuxedo. His face shows no cruelty, only indifference, though his eyes belie that indifference. His eyes glitter with malice.
      “So, Mr. Bond It’s down to this. You will tell me all your department’s secrets or you will suffer more than you have believed humanly possible.”
      Cooley, and with a sneer of dismissal, James Bond shakes his head. “Do you think you can frighten me, Coldfinger? I’m a trained agent. Pain means nothing to me. You may kill me, yes, but I will never give in, and I’ll take my government’s secrets with me to the grave.”
      That brings a smile and a sad shake of the head. “You may believe that, Mr. Bond, but once I use this machine on you, you’ll be a spillway to everything I want to know.” He points to a small machine sitting on the table next to where Bond is chained. It’s a simple box, with only one single control, a small push button. From the box two slim wires run, presumably connected to James Bond, in some unknown way.
      Bond turns his head as much as his shackles will permit. He frowns before saying, “What does it…do.?” The simplicity of the thing obviously has him concerned.
      “It makes you talk, Mr. Bond. It makes any man talk. When I push that button you will know agony such as no man has ever faced. It’s directly connected to your neural system, and will make you know exactly how a woman feels in labor…hard labor.” Coldfinger grins, cruelly, as he leans back in his chair, his hand poised over the box, awaiting a response.
      For a long moment Bond stares, as though accessing the chance that the man is lying. He weighs his options and resources. Finally, he shrugs and takes a deep breath.
     “Okay…the man in charge of my department is named Quincy Farber, and he…
 
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Author’s Note:
     This was something prompted by my daughter’s pregnancy and long labor. I’d talk, too.
     And if my little story pleased you, I’m glad. There are other stories posted, as well. You and others like you are the reason I write. If it did bring a moment of reading pleasure, take a moment to rate it. Feedback matters to me. And if you’re in the mood for something a bit longer. make a stop to look at my novels, and read the excerpts to see if they please, as well
 
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Posted by on August 11, 2012 in Short Story

 

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